Confessions of a Chocoholic

Comment: SpiritLinks

 

Beyond the physical craving for chocolate, there is another hunger I'm trying to feed.

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Not to make light of other addictions, I am a chocoholic. I am just fortunate that my compulsion may cause me to be distracted and less conscious in the moment but it does not impair functioning in the ways alcohol or drugs do. My finances are not greatly impacted, and others are not distressed nor endangered by my craving. But, like any addiction, I obsess and turn to chocolate as a panacea, a reward, a social pleasure, and a comfort for overwrought feelings. Chocolate fills the hole some try to plug with over-eating, under-eating, over-exercising, over-spending, over-sleeping, gambling, alcohol or drugs.

 

Dark chocolate is my moderated delicacy. I don't eat a box or even a regular size candy bar a day. However, I do pander to my passion daily with two squares of an exceptionally rich chocolate bar, two snack size chocolate treats or occasionally a brownie. For extra indulgence, I drop in on a monthly chocolate-lovers breakfast group.

 

The physiological craving for chocolate is real. I discovered this when magnesium was prescribed for me to prevent migraines. At the time, my addiction was out of control. I was eating bittersweet chocolate chips three times a day and wanting more. Within a week of taking magnesium, I found myself skipping some doses of chocolate.

 

Chocolate produces several physiological responses. It releases serotonin, a neurotransmitter that produces feelings of pleasure, and it triggers release of dopamine, similar to the effect of opium. Cocoa possesses antioxidants, protects against LDL oxidation and reduces blood pressure. The saturated fat, stearic acid, unlike other saturated fats, does not raise levels of LDL cholesterol and may lower them. Although chocolate does not cause acne, adding milk to chocolate may trigger an outbreak. Theobromine in chocolate is a weak stimulant, too small to be noticed unless you have a marked sensitivity, and contrary to popular belief, one would have to eat a dozen chocolate bars to equal the caffeine in one cup of coffee. However, chocolate is a potent stimulant for horses and is thus banned in horse-racing.

 

Beyond the physical, I am more concerned with the hunger I'm trying to feed with my fixation. Though eating chocolate in restraint is a harmless consumption, I want to become more conscious of when I use it to feed my wounded soul and satisfy the need with a true and lasting remedy. By acknowledging and taking responsibility for the emptiness, healing occurs with awareness, comfort and self-respect. I can choose to treat the disturbance directly instead of massaging the pain.

Rather than eating chocolate whenever I feel frustrated, I may work out the situation, walk off my feelings, talk with a friend, write about it. When sad, I can choose to shed tears rather than swallowing them. When I allow myself to cry, I don't jump up to grab my fetish because my soul is truly satisfied. Chocolate doesn't remove feelings the way expressing them does; eventually they rise again and again.

 

There is nothing inherently wrong with celebrating life with chocolate. Sometimes, I will opt to seize chocolate for pure delight and, on occasion, for intermittent coping. Chocolate can be a temporary fix, a salve for while I bide for time for resolution. Awareness that I'm making a choice is the key. I'm ready to break the hold chocolate has on me. Instead, I will feed my soul imbibing in social interaction and nourishment with healthy food, exercise, sleep and play.

 

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Diana deRegnier is a free-lance writer and writes the weekly column SpiritLinks for United Press International (UPI) www.ReligionAndSpirituality.com from the San Francisco Bay Area. Her articles appear in numerous Internet and print publications. Diana is also editor and webmaster for the non-profit program http://www.spiritlinksnews.org for spiritual explorers of any or no religious affiliation. © Copyright 2007 by Diana deRegnier.